I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
