Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
