just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
