Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
