I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
