The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
