Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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