The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
only you would photoshop your dick
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
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