hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Dick very happy bro
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
