Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
