so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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