If i come over, it means nothing
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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