what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My penis needs a shock collar
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize