I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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