I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Someone signed my nipple.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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