There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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