): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
