you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
