You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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