I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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