I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
