): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You dont lie about slip and slides
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
