pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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