I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
