come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
