Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
