He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize