why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
