Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
