i already hear my dad disowning me
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
