rhymes with "ouble enetration"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
