Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
