Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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