The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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