Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
