I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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