i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
