big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
