so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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