Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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