why didn't you poke me back
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
