HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
