Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
