In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
