at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
