But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
