So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
