turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
