Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
