Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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