do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
