Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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